We are always in control

We are always in control. There is a good mantra that I think we many times over-look, seldom believe, but cannot dispute its truth. No matter what situation we encounter, no matter how out of control we feel, we are always in control. We may not be in control in the sense many of us think, but control of our minds we do have. No situation is out of the control of our own thoughts and emotions; we always have the ability to process the situation and act accordingly. Even when faced with the threat of life…we still have our minds.

I think the first step in finding peace within is the realization of this mantra. If we simply accept each situation as it comes to us, no matter how good or bad…and we realize “I am in control.” we can handle anything thrown at us. Often I find myself giving the advice to friends or younger people “I know it seems tough right now, but trust me it will get better.” Why do I say this? It’s funny, but thinking about it now I am saying accept that you are letting the current situation control you and wait for a new/better situation to come along to change you. How often do we see a person on top of the world one minute and in the dumps the next? Sure there our outside influences affecting that mood, but why do we let them? I revert back to “we are in control.” If we always treat each situation as a lesson, a lesson in controlling our thoughts and emotions, we stop becoming reactionary…shouldn’t each thing always be the same?

I know, easier said than done, but like everything else in this world, you have to start somewhere, baby steps as my father always says. After all, isn’t just the attempt at this realization a valid practice? Are we not learning to quiet our minds and handle all situations better? This to me is the entire point…I don’t need a fancy building, or a required order of operations to be a better person, a better person to myself and others. I simply need to realize I am in control!

Ritual Sacrifices

I am going to talk about this subject a lot more later, but something I was thinking about is the "religious rituals no longer performed." You read in the history books about these rituals, all across history...and not just religious history. Think about how we treated the insane back in the day, or rituals of human sacrifice, or the Dorje Shugden practice being banned by the Dalai Lama. For the most part the logic provided as to why these rituals are stopped is this "we have learned they were not good", or "they are not wholesome", or "it's now against the law", and my favorite "we have learned better."" Heck we even do this with food, one day something makes you fat, the next it stops cancer, the next it's bad again.

You take all of this into account, and everything but religion seems to be changing at a much faster pace. Why is religion so much slower to catch on to change? How can something be totally right a years ago and now horrific to even talk about? If we all lived by the old testament of the Bible that would make for interesting days! If we are always learning what's right/wrong...why fear different perspectives so much...what better way to learn, and possibly quicker?

So, to my point...how can anyone stand over me and preach that I must conform to a set of rules and rituals in order to achieve happiness and inner peace if in fact the very ritual I am practicing now could be condemned tomorrow? Do we ever stop to search out the true origin of a ritual/belief before we do it, or do we blindly leap in because our flock, sangha, etc...is doing it? Don't tell me that's faith...you have to base something in fact...everything cannot be shrouded with mystery! What if that practice you have taken up is completely wrong...what if you believe in an Almighty God and you are basically slapping him/her in the face every time you practice it?

I am not saying all rituals are false, not at all...I think many rituals are important, they develop structure, but I revert back to saying "who are you to tell me I have to do this in order to achieve that?" In school you learn that you can achieve the same goal in math a number of different directions, and you are told to learn whatever makes it easier on you. If I can't sit Indian style for three hours and chant, but I can take 10 minutes out of my day to reflect, and I can learn to love more, live better...are you going to discourage me by saying it's this way or no way?

Changing with/for Religion

I was thinking how many times I have heard things like "he/she has changed so much since they got religious," or "he/she is such a holy-roller." Things said to make it appear as though religion changes people...and perhaps it does to an extent, but what is it that religion changes so drastically that it pushes away our friends/family? If religion makes you a better person, and you begin to change to that person...how does that appear bad to anyone, especially your loved ones?

Now I can easily say that I have met people that treat religion like so many reform smokers do...where it's all they talk about, and suddenly everyone has to believe exactly what they believe, but I think in many cases that's the religion itself passing that mentality onto the person. I am not attacking any religion here, but you think of missionaries, or Jehovah witnesses...where it's not enough to merely save themselves...they must recruit everyone. I personally know people who have friends/family that are passing away and I hear them say "I hope I can reach them before it's to late." Why is that? That person has had their whole life to make their decisions...who are we to try to affect them? How are we sure we are right?

When did numbers begin to matter anyway? Let's say you believe in a lord and savior, and you believe in judgement. What if you didn't focus entirely on your own life, made a lot of mistakes...BUT you converted 40 people to your religion...does that mean while being judged that count factors in? How does saving others personally aid you in your endeavorer?

I can see where this may be misconstrued as a selfish outlook, but I am not saying that at all. I am simply saying that we are responsible for ourselves...the best way I think we can help others is through example, through love and compassion, through not giving them a reason to practice negativity onto us by our doing. Isn't that the ultimate goal?

Spreading the word has to come to those willing to listen. Just like reading our blog...it's for those that want to read it. Step away from the ritual of force, step away from the belief that you must recruit for your own sanctity...be the person you should be, study what you know to be right, live your life...and let that positive change be what's talked about.

Daily practice - Just Thinking

I was thinking on my LONG, you know every belief has many similar goals: be patient, be friendly, love each other, don't kill, steal, etc...do you realize how many chances a day we have to practice achieving these goals? My drive into work, the hustle of everyone running late, everyone thinking their destination is more important...so what if I let that extra car in? What if I slow down a little and be sure to not cut anyone off? What if I turn off the radio and truly focus on driving, make my task the primary focus and be in that moment? I can see all of this as easy practice in patience.

Now at work, my lord how many people at our jobs frustrate us, try to pawn work onto us, or just irritate us? What if the next time Sammy whatshername walks in to tell you another pointless story about last night...you actually listen? What if when Polly Pain sends you that email asking you to do another mindless task that's really her task...you just do it? I can't begin to recall all the times I have festered and stewed over the most pointless events at work. Can you imagine using these moments at work as your practice in loving kindness, friendship! How about when we start a task we again purely focus on that task, we make that task the most important thing we do...truly apply ourselves to it.

All these things require no special preparation, no specific place we have to be to complete it, no order of operations to follow in order to "do it correctly," and certainly no reason to say "I didn't have time to practice today." It's these simple things I think can make us better people, and take away that BS guilt we feel all to often with our monarchs rules and regulations. Not to mention, what religion am I by observing the above? Can anyone point me out and say I am doing it wrong? Regardless of my next life...or who I stand in front off in the end...can you say simple steps like this don't help?

Just thinking - Dan

Intro - Part I

WOW, we are actually doing this...I am not sure exactly where to start, so I shall wing-it. My name is Dan Plumlee I am a 30 something family man with your normal job, normal car, normal house, etc...I grew up in central Indiana smack in the middle of the Bible-belt. My mother introduced me to Christian church/beliefs at a young age, though we were never regulars we always attended on the important occasions, I especially remember Easters. As I grew up I was fortunate to have a mother who allowed me to explore religion(s), and I can remember attending various churches alone as young as 13.

I can say from ages 13-18 I attended just about every church/faith you could think of...at one time even doing a bible study with the Jehovah's witnesses. I read about: Shamanism, Islam, Hinduism, Taoism...you name it, I read about it. I remember easily identifying the commonalities in all the beliefs, seeing the central theme of "be a good person." but all of them seemed to say there way was the only way to achieve that goal of being a good person. All this and I still never found what I was looking for...I could never connect. From 18ish to my mid 20's I kind of let belief take a back-seat to life, love, all the normal day-to-day things, but as you have heard so many people say I felt like I was missing something. I cannot recall the exact day or reason but I remember picking up a book by Lama Surya Das and I couldn't put it down...I was captivated, hooked. I remember from that day forward grabbing every book on Buddhism I could find no matter if it was: Zen, Tibetan, Chinese, etc…I didn’t care I just loved what I read.

I am going to side-step for just a moment and share how I met my best-friend/brother/co-author of this blog…because it’s important how he fits into this. Sometime in my 20’s while finding life, love and all that good stuff I had the pleasure of meeting Matt through a friend-of-a-friend. Matt and I instantly connected and started a deep friendship. As with all friendships we discussed everything…including religion, and we were both amazed at how similar our paths were…and how much we both loved Eastern religions (more on this later…but back to my story).

As I am sure many people can identify with as I read these I had questions, I craved more…so I began my search for a group, a place to study…to answer my questions. So, what do I do? Being a computer geek I do the natural thing and search the web for local places. Living in the heart of Indian I am lucky in my search and find a couple of local places…so I grab Matt and we venture out to the great un-known. Talk about culture-shock…wow I remember the first night like it was yesterday, for the first time ever Matt and I were speechless after the class! That speechlessness was short-lived and Matt and I began to discuss our take(s) on the night. Both of us agreed it was a unique experience, we loved the message, but boy the ritual was just weird. We both agreed maybe it was just culture shock, and agreed to continue taking the classes.

I can say after repeated trips the ritual never got easier, so we decided to try another “group,” and to our surprise it was the same. It’s that moment…sitting in my car Matt and I talked and agreed…ALL organized religion is lost in the traditions…the message is buried behind the rituals. I recalled my Church visits, where it’s do this, then this, followed by this. It’s like how I prefer texting over phone calls…not because I don’t like talking but in these busy times I just want the message. There is a time and place for socializing but somehow every phone call turned into a ritual “Hi”, “How are you?”, “How’s the family”…then at some point you finally get the point of the call. The message is lost in the ritual.

I want spirituality...I want to be a better person…I want to study my beliefs, but I want to study the root. Am I being selfish? Am I missing the wax-on, wax-off portion of the teaching? If I am I don’t care…I don’t know how long I have on this earth, and each day I miss out on truly following my belief is another day of some form of unhappiness. After all, we are taught in so many other facets of life “Each person has their own way of learning” or “it’s not as important how you get there, just that you got there.” Why can’t you just say “Here is what the ultimate goal is…now get there?

Well it’s time for a revolution, and Matt and I are leading the pack! It’s time to wake-up, step away from the mindless hum-drum, grasp what you belief…and BE TRUE TO YOURSELF! It’s time to have your Rite Without!!